Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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