But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
you would pick up someone in the library
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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