You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
