So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
