That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
