just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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