Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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