She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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