one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
