she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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