Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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