Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
