I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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