are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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