yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
