you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
