This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
