hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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