That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize