we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
