If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize