I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
