How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
