I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
