Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
