I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
