Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I cut my penus on the lid.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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