did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
