There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
