I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
