he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
