I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
