His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
