i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have fence marks all over my body
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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