I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
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