sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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