Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
