Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
