I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The adults are the big ones right?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
