i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
