he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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