you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
