You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
third nipple confirmed
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize