I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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