My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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