My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
