i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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