Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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