I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
