dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
