Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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