Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
