I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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