seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
