called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
