I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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