I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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