she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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