Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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