I seem to have left my pride at pride
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
