remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
