your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
