Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
only you would photoshop your dick
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
