I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
