Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
