Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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